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Grasping a client’s core beliefs is the key to understanding their reactions to life’s triggers. This technique is called cognitive conceptualization. Everyone responds differently to various situations and events; these responses are influenced by a person's fundamental self-beliefs. When a triggering event occurs, the automatic thoughts that follow are not random; instead, they stem from a core set of beliefs that clients have shaped about themselves since childhood. If these core beliefs are tinged with self-doubt, they can cause clients to view triggering situations negatively, leading to distressing reactions.

As therapists, it’s important to understand that self-doubt often centers around two primary themes: desirability and competency. When clients find themselves doubting their desirability, they may perceive themselves as unattractive, unlikeable, unwanted, or unworthy. On the other hand, doubts about competence can lead clients to view themselves as failures, inadequate, helpless, useless, or incapable. These both have detrimental effects on mental health, commonly leading to struggles with anxiety, feeling comfortable in their bodies, and depression.

Identifying Core Beliefs

To fully understand a client’s core beliefs, you must first understand personality style and values. Personality exists on a continuum between sociotropy and autonomy. Those with a sociotropic personality tend to prioritize interpersonal relationships above all else. These personality types seek to be accepted, valued, and desired by others. On the other hand, individuals with an autonomous personality style value achievement, mobility, and independence. Those with an autonomous personality type are typically striving to be seen as competent, capable, and strong by their peers.

A person’s biological nature, combined with their childhood, influences the development of their core values and beliefs. For example, a client who often felt overshadowed by an older sibling throughout their childhood might develop a sociotropic personality type because they constantly battled their sibling for their parent’s acceptance growing up. On the other hand, a person who grew up without competing for a parent’s approval might have an autonomous personality type because they were never conditioned to compete for attention.

It’s important to note that where individuals fall on this continuum can shift over time, sometimes becoming more extreme or just settling in the middle. Major life events, such as getting married, having a divorce, having children or grandchildren, starting a new job, or even moving can influence their positioning. Some people may also oscillate between the two personality styles, finding themselves somewhere in the middle but leaning towards one side or the other.

Understanding Vulnerability

Ensuring that clients understand the vulnerabilities attached to their personality style can help prevent self-doubt before it strikes. For example, those with a sociotropic personality are most likely to experience self-doubt when facing social conflict, as it activates their underlying beliefs of self-worth. On the other hand, individuals with an autonomous personality will feel self-doubt when their performance or independence is threatened. This self-doubt increases their vulnerability to distress.

The following are examples of events that can bother sociotropic personality types:

• Disagreeing with others
• Feeling rejected or insulted, whether real or imagined
• Being left out or not included
• Having someone upset with them
• Feeling awkward in social situations
• Not being called or texted back
• Being judged or insulted, especially because of their character

The following are examples of events that can bother autonomous personality types:

• Being criticized regarding their performance, whether real or imagined
• Feeling as though they have no control
• Losing their independence
• Feelings of being smothered
• Having difficulty achieving—or failing to reach—a goal
• Being told to do something, not asked
• Not living up to their own expectations
• Giving up control

Individuals who identify near the middle of the two personality types, valuing both interpersonal success and achievement equally, can feel bothered when both personality types face conflict. For instance, a client was invited to a friend’s wedding but also received an opportunity to speak at a prestigious conference on the same day. Both events offer valuable, yet different rewards. Having to choose between them can trigger feelings of distress as the client struggles to reconcile these competing values. Because you understand that both events are important to the client’s core values, you can make the most educated suggestions to guide your client to a solution.

In these , you'll find strategies to help clients understand their core beliefs on a deeper level, allowing them to better respond to triggers, and begin to mend their relationship with self-worth.